Welcome to my personal home page.

Let me tell you more about me. I was born in Paris in the year 1400 and have lived here all my life. My father is a physician at the royal court and my mother works hard at home, supervising the servants and taking care of my little sister Helene and me. My brother Jean has just started to attend the University.

Family Tree

Here you can find out all about my family.

My Adventures

Here you can follow my all of my adventures if you want, though it will be more fun to explore The World and The Nunnery and find them there!

Welcome

Do you ever wish you could live a different life? Perhaps even in a different time? Now that I am 15, I'm unsure what is going to happen in my life, and what, if anything, I'll have to say about it.
This past year, 1415, has been a hard one here in Paris. The long war with England has meant we are often short of food. The King, who some people say is mad, cannot control the government, and just last month France suffered a terrible defeat against the English at Agincourt. My father, who is a physician at the Royal Court, says it is just a matter of time before England's King, Henry V, controls all of France. I wish I could go and fight - it isn't easy being a girl!
But still, Paris is an exciting, wonderful city, and I would not want to live anywhere else. Come with me, and I will show you why. Come and join me in the 15th Century and help me decide which path to take!

My Choices

Everyone else seems to know what is best for me, but myself! I feel such pressure to make choices, but I don't think I am ready yet.
My mother wants me to marry and raise a family as she has done. My father wants me to have an education, like my godmother, Christine de Pizan.
But because I' m a girl, I cannot go to the university in Paris, and a private tutor is very expensive. Boys just go out into the world and make a life, but for girls it is different.
It does not seem enough to just stay home and raise children, nor enough just to get an education and a career, but to want to do both seems too much. Do you think it will always be so? I want to see more of the world, before deciding.

Off To The Nunnery

My parents' idea of me seeing more of the world is to send me to visit a convent. I have no choice but to go - I have an aunt who is a member of a religious community and although she seems happy, I don't expect to find much of interest to me.
My father thinks I might find positive things about a religious life, and perhaps make a career as a nun - my godmother's daughter is a member of the community at Poissy, just outside Paris, so that is where they are sending me.
But I am not sure there can be anything positive about being shut away from all the excitement of the world, never hearing the joyful sound of the lute and flute, wearing drab clothes, and praying all day!

Religious Women In The World

While I'm going off to find out about life in convent, I can't forget that not all women who choose to dedicate their lives to God live in this way. Many women, especially here in France, become beguines - taking vows of chastity and obedience but going out into the world to serve the poor and the sick. If you look around you will find out more about this way of life. Someone, I think it was St. Francis, has called it being "in" the world but not "of"the world.

A Day In The Life

Well, I couldn't put it off any longer. Here I am in one of the chambers of this religious house at Poissy. I thought there wouldn't be much to do except read and write and pray, of course! And we certainly pray. The sister who looks after the novices tells me that since the days of St. Benedict, almost a thousand years ago, the religious life for women and men has been divided into a long round of prayer. There are special prayers to be said at certain times of the day. We rise for Matins in the dark, before 3 am, we say Lauds at 5, Prime at 6, Terce at 9 and Sext at noon. At 3 it is None, then Vespers at 6 and Compline at 8. But the nuns are also busy with handwork - their embroidery is very beautiful - and gardening - and the older ones teach the younger ones to read and sing the office. You can bet they are ready for bed after all that! I certainly am!

The Chapter House

This is the Chapter House, the "head office" of the nunnery. The abbess, who is in charge of all the sisters, sits in that chair and consults with all the others on the running of the community. Anyone who hasn't been obeying the rules can expect a warning, perhaps privately at first, but then in front of all the sisters. The girl in white there is a postulant. She has just arrived here and is being received into the community. On the wall you can see paintings of other famous abbesses - if you look closely you will find out more.

The Chapel

Listen to the sisters singing together! They sound so full of joy! The object of this hard life of worship and devotion is to come as close as possible to God in this life and to ensure eternal life with him after death. The sisters tell me that there are certain steps which mark the progression towards sainthood. If you walk up the steps here in the chapel you will discover what they are.

The Anchorite

But some women choose not only to stay in convents, but to be bricked into a room of their own, an anchorite's cell, for their whole life! This seems strange to me, and this anchoress, who has chosen this path, is sitting in there alone saying her prayers.
The Mother Superior says by living this way, and just concentrating on her own spiritual life, the Sister can avoid all the pressures of the material world outside, pressures perhaps from other people who think they know what's best for her. I'm starting to think perhaps there may be some positive things here after all, but it still seems very lonely.

Leaving The Nunnery

Well, now that I' m about to leave, I must confess this was not what I had I expected at all. These women can lead very interesting lives. They have time to study - if the university won't educate them, the convent will. And they have time to sing - the music, especially when they sing together, is beautiful even if there is no lute.
Because they all wear the same clothing, there is no jealously over who has the richest fabric. And they do not have to worry about making up their faces up to please men. Their eyes are always friendly and kind. And even the youngest nun does have a say, in how the community is run. My father was right - there are some very attractive things about living in a convent. I am surprised, but I'm feeling sorry my visit is over.

Entering The World

As I told my father, before making my mind up about my future, I want to explore the world, not just the convent. Though I thought he might be angry, he just smiled. And now suddenly, I have an invitation to a banquet at the court.
There is so much I want to know about - what goes on at a university; how working women, such as the woman who owns the bakery down the street, live; how ordinary wives and country folk spend their time, and how the poor, and the wretched, ever manage to survive. Since the economy has been hurt by the wars, there seem to be more homeless on the streets than ever. And I've also wanted to go on a pilgrimage. There is an Englishwoman whose journey I want to learn about. Come with me on my quest as I explore the world.

The World Of Learning

My brother has smuggled me in to the famous University of Paris. I've had to dress as a boy as girls aren't allowed in here. I hope no one discovers me. Even my mother, I think, secretly envied my plan to sneak in. She knows about more than people think. She may stay at home, but she meets the other women of the area and they discuss many things. When I told her my plan, she shook her head and said "you'd think nothing had changed since the days of Abelard and Bernard of Clairvaux, almost 300 years ago". The Master,at the University is said to be wise but very strict with his students, constantly challenging them with complicated ideas. And my mother is right - I don't like the texts we are studying, full of warnings against the evils of women. You don't believe me? Take a look at some for yourself.

Marriage

I have heard so much about the joys of love, perhaps getting married would not be such a bad option. But why does it seem that love disappears once the courtship is over? The music and poetry are so often replaced by quarrelling and bitterness.

Widowhood

I have received a letter from my godmother, Christine de Pizan, who was lucky enough to have had a very happy marriage. Sadly, it was too short, and she has been a widow for many years. Listen to what she says.

The Royal Court

Well, here I am at the Royal Court. My father has told me how elegant and lavish it is, but I would not have believed its richness if I hadn't been old enough to see for myself. One of the senior ladies will help me dress, and do my hair and make-up.
My father says tonight's sumptuous banquet will have lots of music and dancing. And people will eat so much they will get sick, and may need a doctor, so it is good he is in attendance. I am so excited I can hardly breathe. But I can't help thinking about the beggars we pass on the way to court, and wonder what they will eat tonight.

The Banquet

What an elegant banquet! The gowns, the food and the music - and such distinguished guests! This is the most exciting place. But I'm still haunted by the words of Sebille in that upstairs chamber. I can't allow myself to drink too much or flirt with the handsome young squires. And I am staying well away from that man over there who has become quite drunk and keeps telling me I am beautiful. I am still very young and must be careful of my honour and reputation.

Menu

Here is the menu for a banquet which my father attended at the English court many years ago. It surely can't have been any more splendid than this one in Paris today!

The World Of Work

I think that women in the world work even harder then men -- they have their jobs and careers and also have all the responsibility for cooking, cleaning and caring for the children at home. I don't know how they do it. Perhaps if we listen to this baker, the weaver and the shepherdess we may find out.

The Wretched

I wanted to see the world and here, surely, are its saddest inhabitants. The prostitute in her fine red dress looks tired and ill behind her make up, the leper must ring his bell, even at night, to keep people away from contamination. This awful war has created so many cripples, beggars and people who steal in order to survive. And that woman -- she has no husband or strong sons to defend her, so people call her a witch and accuse her of all kinds of evil practices. If you are not afraid of the dark, why not come closer and meet them?

Please save this message for last. It is my au revoir.

Au Revoir